We love meeting locals and delving into what gets them ticking especially if we think you’ll be interested too. This time it’s the turn of Therapeutic Parenting Coach – Amiee Carlton.
What led you to becoming a therapeutic parenting coach?
It took a bout of rather debilitating, soul destroying & gut wrenching post natal depression (baby number one!) & a cross coastal move for me to understand that something had to change. I wasn’t living a life. I was living patterns and habits. None of which reflected who I actually was or how I actually wanted to be living.
I was being ruled by “shoulds”. My decisions were being driven by society, and my actions; direct replicas of a childhood I had experienced. I was not seeing my child. I was not responding to “her”. I was responding to a modern parenting paradigm that had been spoon fed to me. My peers and the generations that came before me.
I was in essence blind to what was actually happening in the present moment and what my daughter needed from me verses what I though she should have from me as a mother. It was from here that I started to get more conscious in my parenting, in my relationships, and in my life.
Who are the courses intended for?
The courses are intended for anyone who is looking to have a better connection with their children and those they are closest to. Through the courses we are able to explore and untangle a lot of the conditioning and social expectations that get in the way of our authentic and drive to raise our children.
We break down the patterns that make our parenting reactive rather than intuitive and present. We learn about how these patterns have evolved in our lives and how to stop our repetitive loops in action.
Each class teaches us a different aspect of how our parenting and relationships are being unconsciously impacted and how we can break these patterns not just for us with our children, but for each generation that comes after.
What is conscious parenting?
Conscious parenting is in essence about becoming aware and awake to what is actually happening in front of us. Not what we want to be happening or what we think should be happening, but what IS actually happening, and parenting from here. In the truth of the here and now and from a place of true understanding of the child in front of you. The modern parenting paradigm has taught us and conditioned us to believe there is one way to raise a child and that every child should be one way. This is simply not the case. we need to wake up to who our kids actually are and who we need to be for them. To be able to give them what they need to succeed.
Conscious parenting is not about following rules and learning tools to get your kid to do what society has told us is correct. Its about waking up to the actual and real relationship that you are in with another human being who needs you to show up for them. Not for an idea of them.
What can parents expect to gain from joining a course?
Parents will learn about their current parenting style & how it effects their children.
Conditioned belief systems and how they impact our parenting.
Repeating patterns & how their coping strategies get in the way of seeing our children for who they actually are.
Awareness of culture’s curated reality & Learn how these pressures navigate our decisions.
Triggers. What is really happening inside us when we lose our shit & how to release our kids from our inner story.
Issues with boundaries & explore our real motivations behind them.
How to break negative reactive loops.
How to set healthy boundaries that embody what’s best for everyone.
How to step away from triggered behaviour.
How to become more accountable for our own life and relationships.
A deeper understanding of ourselves, and our most important relationships.
Learn skills to master your inner reactivity.
Learn how to make mindful choices.
How to communicate better with our children (and others).
How much time would they need to dedicate to a course?
The lessons run weekly for 6 weeks and each lesson is about 90 minutes long
The rest you start to see in real time. In the “field” I like to say!
I always suggest keeping notes or a journal in between classes because a lot tends to come up. Essentially the lessons are the jumping off point. The rest of your life is dedicated to what you learn.
What are your job highs & lows?
I love love love exploring our patterns and doing the dots on why we are the way we are and why we show up in our lives the way we do. I love noting more than the lightbulb moment when it hits a client and everything falls into place.
In terms of lows. Well, people mostly come to me when they are in crisis. It’s tough to see people in pain. I love what i do because i work to support and guide, but when we start, we often start in a painful place. I don’t like seeing people hurting.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A few things. I wanted to be a hairdresser, and I still love colouring and cutting my hair, or anyones’ hair really. I wanted to be a fashion designer for a lot of my childhood and I did actually fulfil my dream for over a decade, for 14 years in fact. However, from 16 I fell in love with the brain and social psychology. I think what I do now has always been IN me as something that needed to be realised. It just took some time to come back to it.
If you could live anywhere in the world where would that be?
I lived on the west coast for a while and I loved that but London is really home to me.
In fantasy land I see myself living on a beach in a beach front hut with a hammock and a stray dog, but even then, I think I’d have to come home. Once a Londoner, always a Londoner.
Earliest childhood memory?
Playing dolls with my sister. The unusual thing is that I was the doll. My sister used to dress me up as a small boy and pretend that she had found me abandoned in the street. She would take me home and raise me as her own. My name was Simon.
Favourite way to spend the weekend in London?
I love to do a good 5 mile walk around the Heath and Kenwood with my dog and either my husband or my best friend.
Then home to shower and maybe go out for a quick lunch and a spot of mooching with my daughter. The evening would have to be pizza at the Rise Pub and a glass of red wine
What’s your go-to movie?
My favourite movies of all time have to be the oldies. Dirty Dancing, Pretty woman, Dazed & Confused. Ferris Bueller’s day off. I try and force my daughter to rewatch them with me but she isn’t having any of it.
Name the song that evokes a strong memory?
Frank Sinatra’s – New York, New York. It reminds me of my late grandfather. He loved that song and we always belt it out and think of him.
What’s the memory?
It reminds me of my Late grandfather. He loved that sone and we always belt him and think of him.
Heels or trainers?
Trainers or cowboy boots. And just too many to mention.
Name your top 3 desert island must haves.
What did you have for dinner?
I haven’t eaten yet but now all I can think about is getting pizza from the rise.
Do you have any regrets?
You never regret the things you have done, only those you did not do.
I guess if anything I regret not owning it more when I loved someone. I think it is so powerful to show your love and own your ability to love. As a teenager I certainly did not do that. I never wanted to lose face. In retrospect I think that owning it IS face!
Click here to sign up to Aimee’s webinar at 5pm on January 20th. Learn about parenting blindspots and improve your relationship with your kids!